I still feel like the world could come crashing down at any moment, though. I panicked that Indigo was sick a few nights ago, so took her to the doctor. Nothing was wrong at all, fortunately. She just had a bad night's teething.
I feel pressure to fix things - what I plan to do, I have no idea. Something in my brain is just telling me to take control and do something. I need a job. I love being home to play with Indigo, but I feel my brain turning to mush. I used to have control in my life - now I have control over how often the house gets cleaned, but no control over how quickly it becomes messy! I'd love to have an aspect of my life that requires me to wash my hair, dress in clean clothes, talk to grown-ups. My emotional state has become childish from spending so much time with a very clingy, whingy Indy - working would be a chance to remind myself that I am, in fact, an adult.
I am hoping that being proactive will help me overcome this feeling. I don't know what else I can do, Indigo has booked out my schedule. I still find it hard to get things done while she naps, or find time to do the things I want to do, not just the things I think need to be done. Often what "needs" to be done is not urgent, but the chance to do my own thing is fleeting.
I think I should prepare a list of things to do, during down-time. I guess it'll be mostly craft and recycling projects, but I will share it to ensure I actually get something done! I plan to start on this list over Easter, since I'm not actually doing anything Easterly.
I think I should prepare a list of things to do, during down-time. I guess it'll be mostly craft and recycling projects, but I will share it to ensure I actually get something done! I plan to start on this list over Easter, since I'm not actually doing anything Easterly.
Things to make & do
+ Clean house - make it an exhibition of retro design, and a showcase for all our beautiful things!
+ Pick flowers for all our vases
+ Make clothes for Indigo out of my op shoppables. There are some things that look terrible on me, but will make adorable clothes for Indigo.
+ Make a throw rug and cushions for the uncomfortable lounge. Until we can find a better one, I might as well make this one pretty!
+ Make Indigo this beanie for winter (Here's a link to the pattern, if you have a ravelry account). And all the people whose kids I promised to make beanies for, including the beautiful Googy and adorable Squishy of Good Googs fame.
+ Bake banana bread. Because I want some.
+ Bunting for Indigo's first birthday celebrations (which will be combined with my 25th birthday, which is five days later, and our housewarming). I love bunting, so I want to make lots!
+ Take Trilby the Wonderhound to the dog beach
+ Weed and fertilise our garden to prepare it for planting! I'm looking forward to growing heirloom varieties this year, as I have found an awesome Australian website that has 99% heirloom seeds, and posts across Australia, where quarantine permits.
So, this is the plan. Now, to put it into action! What are all of you up to over Easter?
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