Under the Weather

Dave is sick with smoke inhalation damage to his throat and lungs from trying to light a fire in our fireplace. We knew it hadn't been used recently, but Dave took a gamble because a crackling fire is so pleasant, and the weather has been so cold and miserable. Luckily Indigo and I were in bed, because it's made him really ill, and I feel terribly for him. I wish there was something more I could do to help. If good intentions and cups of tea made it better, he'd be better by now.

Indigo started teething on tooth number nine yesterday too, which meant she slept for hours during the day, and has been unsettled all night, hence the 2am post. Co-sleeping is definitely the way to go with a sick baby, I can't imagine getting out of bed as many times as Indy has woken up tonight. She's needed constant breastfeeding at a time where I was trying to start supplementing with bottles in the hope that I can get my period back soon so we can start trying for another kidlet, which has left me feeling frustrated and worn out.

Sick too, it seems. My throat feels raw and sore, my ears are blocked and itchy, so I know it's coming. I guess all I can do is drink orange and mango juice (yum!), take my multivitamin, be nice to myself, and hope that I can get some sleep to kill this bug. Or maybe it's inevitable, and I should prepare for a few days of solid mooching around the house until we all get better.

What do you do when you fall sick - or when the whole family gets sick? 

I usually try to soldier on if I'm sick, but stop the presses if it's anyone else. I should probably work on that -  being sick is inconvenient and uncomfortable, but it's natural not to be well 100% of the time, so I should be teaching this to Indigo. Luckily for all concerned she has never actually been seriously ill in her almost 12 months on the earth - just gunky eyes after travelling on a billion planes to go to Dave's sister's wedding, and a blocked nose a few weeks ago. She just sailed through it, because she's awesome.

We'll be just fine. I'll keep going because I know we'll come out the other side.

Attachment Parents Get Frustrated Too

I've been wondering recently if a lot of people aren't turned-off attachment parenting due to the image of the "perfect" attachment parents. They never get cranky at something minor, grump around the house, eat all the chocolate and snap at everyone. They never complain noisily in the night about being woken up abruptly multiple times to full-bladder kicks from a climbing baby who wants to be breastfed and comforted back to sleep. 

In short, I do all of these things, on occasion. I'm still an attachment parent!

I know I'm not perfect even though I'd love to be (and try to be, at my own expense on many occasions), all I can do is apologise for my mistakes, move on, and learn something. 

Making mistakes and not "following all the rules" does not disqualify you from attachment parenting. Many attachment parents don't start out that way - it's not a from-the-start-or-not-at-all sort of deal - you can begin at any time, and it doesn't require perfection - just a willingness to admit to mistakes, and learn from them.


A lot of parents, my little parenting unit included, don't like the idea of following any particular parenting doctrine, but call ourselves attachment parents nonetheless, as the ideas fit most closely with our own, without being too specific. There are so many little niche parenting styles, I just like to think that we've all got the same ideas at heart - fostering strong connections between parents and children, to help them grow into strong, emotionally intelligent adults. 


I know we all want the best for our kids, and if you think attachment parenting might be what's best for your family, go for it! We all make "mistakes" when we parent, but it's only truly a mistake if you didn't learn something from it. 

I left Indigo to "cry it out" once, because I was so stressed and tired that I couldn't physically lift her or emotionally handle her constant crying. Putting her in her cot made it worse, but I NEEDED five minutes to calm down. After I calmed down, I went back to her, picked her up, and was capable of looking after her again. It took forever to help her settle down, but I'll bet a million bucks that she hasn't been scarred by the experience, even if I have chosen to parent her in an entirely different way! 


I think a lot of people also feel angry about attachment parenting, because we might seem like a smug lot. Yeah, our kids are parented differently to yours, but that doesn't mean I'm judging you as a parent and finding you lacking. It's just like religious and non-religious families: parenting differently with similar goals in mind. Neither is more legitimate. Some attachment parents want ALL parents to follow attachment parenting principles, but I think that's pretty narrow-minded - almost everyone thinks that they are parenting in a way which will benefit their children, one way or the other. 

Most parents adopt some attachment parenting practices into their parenting style, using a sling or baby carrier as opposed to a pram, for instance. Hell, Beyonce even breastfed and carries little Blue Ivy around all over the place - no pram in sight!


So I guess my point is something about not judging people, because we all make some similar parenting decisions, and most of us do some form of attachment parenting. We all just need to be a bit kinder to each other, and a little less judgemental - the parent you're judging is just doing what works for them, just like you!


I love all these old photos of Indigo, so thought I'd include some to lighten up a heavy post!!