Under the Weather

Dave is sick with smoke inhalation damage to his throat and lungs from trying to light a fire in our fireplace. We knew it hadn't been used recently, but Dave took a gamble because a crackling fire is so pleasant, and the weather has been so cold and miserable. Luckily Indigo and I were in bed, because it's made him really ill, and I feel terribly for him. I wish there was something more I could do to help. If good intentions and cups of tea made it better, he'd be better by now.

Indigo started teething on tooth number nine yesterday too, which meant she slept for hours during the day, and has been unsettled all night, hence the 2am post. Co-sleeping is definitely the way to go with a sick baby, I can't imagine getting out of bed as many times as Indy has woken up tonight. She's needed constant breastfeeding at a time where I was trying to start supplementing with bottles in the hope that I can get my period back soon so we can start trying for another kidlet, which has left me feeling frustrated and worn out.

Sick too, it seems. My throat feels raw and sore, my ears are blocked and itchy, so I know it's coming. I guess all I can do is drink orange and mango juice (yum!), take my multivitamin, be nice to myself, and hope that I can get some sleep to kill this bug. Or maybe it's inevitable, and I should prepare for a few days of solid mooching around the house until we all get better.

What do you do when you fall sick - or when the whole family gets sick? 

I usually try to soldier on if I'm sick, but stop the presses if it's anyone else. I should probably work on that -  being sick is inconvenient and uncomfortable, but it's natural not to be well 100% of the time, so I should be teaching this to Indigo. Luckily for all concerned she has never actually been seriously ill in her almost 12 months on the earth - just gunky eyes after travelling on a billion planes to go to Dave's sister's wedding, and a blocked nose a few weeks ago. She just sailed through it, because she's awesome.

We'll be just fine. I'll keep going because I know we'll come out the other side.

Nice Things to Start the Month With

I've had a rough week. Indigo has been teething, and keeping Dave and I up all night. She's been doing lots of parent-climbing in the middle of the night, even asleep! It's made the week full of stress feel even more stressful, but we're coming out the other side, I hope. 

Image via Etsy - weepereas

I'm feeling determined to take things as they come now, and not resort to frustration or depression (my sure-fire sign that I'm stretching myself too thin, and expecting too much of myself). It's back to basics: good food; clean home; lots of exercise; make things; read books; write; talk to people. I know this combination is pretty much designed to make me feel like a human being again, so it's worth giving it my all.

Image via Etsy - ButterflyLove1

It's May, and just over a month until Indigo's first birthday, and my twenty fifth, five days later. I'm hoping to have an amazing combined birthday shindig, so I hope I can plan it all without costing the earth, and pull it off without too much drama! I'm thinking planning and preparing for this party will help pull me out of my slump! I love decorating, designing menus, making invitations...in fact, pretty much everything that comes along with parties. I can't wait to get started! Follow my party board on Pinterest to see my inspiration. In fact, take a look at all my boards! Go on!

One wonderful thing happened this week: we got our rabbit back!

Pepper has been our rabbit for almost three years, and has lived with Dave's mum and sister for almost 11 months. We missed him so much, but couldn't have him at our last rental property. Here however, we have a huge yard which won't be ruined by the addition of a rabbit hutch, so here he is!

Pepper and I, back when I was fighting a losing battle against white-blonde hair

Indigo loves him, but needs to learn a thing or two about soft patting! It's so nice to watch how excited she gets with a new animal to watch and play with. Next stop, convince landlord for those chickens I want...

I Love To Watch Her Grow

Often when I talk to people about Indigo, they ask about the milestones she's up to. They asked if she was crawling at four months old. They asked if she was saying any words at six months. They asked if she was walking at eight months. They also seemed to be slightly disappointed when the answer to all of these questions was "no". The day-to-day of playing with kids is a gradual process, and you can watch your child grasping new concepts and making discoveries every day. 

I guess a lot of people just don't know when kids start actually "doing things". I also don't understand the need to rush from milestone to milestone, without enjoying all the stuff in between. Milestones are things to worry about if your kid doesn't seem to be progressing normally, not play-by-plays every baby goes through in the same way, at the same time, or even in the same order! For example, Indigo started creeping along using the furniture before she'd gotten the hang of crawling, and is now a pro at both!

We had a visit from Dave's grandma today, who brought Indy a wooden pram and a wooden swan on a string, which she loves. She has spent a large portion of the day pushing around the pram, putting toys in, then dumping them all out. It's pink and natural wood, but I think I want to paint it red and white, to freshen it up.

Indigo is growing up so fast. I guess it's like that with babies - one minute they have floppy necks, the next you're running around trying to keep up with them. Indigo has started playing out of my sight, on occasion. This thrills me - after doubting my choices in regards to attachment parenting due to other people's opinions on Indy's joey-like clinging, it's so nice to watch her being so bold and adventurous. It reaffirms my choices, and proves to me that giving your child as much attention as they want does not raise a child incapable of independence.

I love to watch her grow. That just about says it all.

New Year's Resolutions

I know, I know. It's April. 

I found this list while searching for something I wrote a while ago, and thought I should definitely share it. I've even managed to achieve some things on the list, if not in full, then at least in part. 

I wrote a guest post on Trichotillomania, depression, and other "invisible illnesses" on madambipolar, which went live today. Go take a look if you're interested.

So, here are my rather belated New Year's resolutions! I'm glad I've actually started inching my way towards achieving my goals - I think I actually set myself some realistic ones this year!

New Year's Resolutions 2012

+ Start running every day, even just a little bit. [I walk every day, so I guess that counts?]

+ Cook delicious foods both healthy and decadent. Attempt new things as often as is feasible. [Yes!]

+ Make more craft. Specifically, a giant rainbow rug, an elf beanie for Indigo to wear in winter, tie-dyeing some stuff and a large amount of fabric, and sewing clothes. Anything else I manage to achieve is a bonus. Ideally, I want everyything we own to be handmade and unique, but I understand that this goal may take more than a year to achieve!

+ Play with Indy and interact with her as much as I can when I'm not working, but I shouldn't stress if we're both too tired to do more than go through the motions every now and then. She'll love me no matter what, and I need to cut myself some slack. [I play as much as possible, and cut myself as much slack as possible, so I should cut myself slack about cutting myself slack!]

+ Update blog regularly and have fun with it! Meet other bloggers online and in person, and make some new friends with interests in common. [Working on it!]

+ Find some way to raise money for trichotillomania awareness/research, and write a post about my experiences with trich. [I've written two posts now, one for my blog, and one for Madam Bipolar]

+ Get back my pre-baby body - size 8, 57kg. If I'm happy with how I look before this target weight, I will also consider it a success. [I've lost 20kgs, which is nothing to sneeze at. Another 15 and I'll be at my goal weight!]

+ Attempt to "cure" my nail-biting and trichotillomania through sheer willpower and a whole lot of support. [Trich is getting better, but the nails are shocking!]

+ Keep the house as clean and clutter-free as much as is possible when a baby lives in the house. [Yes!]

+ Save enough money to buy a car. [My amazing grandma generously gave me a car!!! Thank you Pat!!!]

+ Make more mum-friends. [Yes!]

I think all that is enough to do in one year! If you come back regularly to this link from the front page, check if I've crossed anything off my list, and hassle me to get on with it if I don't do anything for a while.

What are your 2012 resolutions? Have you achieved any yet?

The Last Egg-Free Easter

My partner Dave and I have had a hard time deciding what to do about religious holidays and their fantasy counterparts, such as the Easter Bunny. It seems a bit wrong to celebrate something symbolising rebirth and the beginning of Spring and Harvest, when here in the southern hemisphere, it's starting to get colder, and the leaves on all the deciduous trees are starting to turn golden.


Today was our last egg-free Easter. Indigo is ten months old, and thankfully doesn't yet understand that Easter equals chocolate for the vast majority of Australians, so we managed to dodge a bullet this year. Instead, we took the dog to the beach, and lazed around on our lawn in the sun. It was pretty perfect.


I love celebrating pretty much anything. I've been feeling physically and mentally drained recently, and all my ideas for hollowing-out and painting eggs then hiding them in the garden fell by the wayside. I've needed all my energy to just to keep up with Indigo and remember to brush my teeth. Watch out, Halloween and Christmas - prepare for a craft attack! Readers, prepare for a whole heap of DIY tutorials - I have grand plans.


We've come to the conclusion that it's too much fun not to have Santa and a giant rabbit in Indigo's life, so we'll cross the religious connotations when the questions come up! Being atheists makes these decisions difficult - neither of us want to be perpetuating Christan holidays over any others, so maybe we'll throw colour on each other during Holi, celebrate the Dia de los Muertos and Charles Darwin's birthday, and any other holiday that makes sense to us, or has really awesome traditions.


I'd love some ideas - what holidays, religious or otherwise, do you think would be worth celebrating?

Covert Co-sleeping

Indigo has a cot. It sits in her bedroom with her wardrobe full of clothes, and some toys she doesn't play with much. Truth be told, as lovely as Indigo's room is, with it's psychedelic carpet in varying shades of purple and magenta, she doesn't spend much time in there at all. Most of her toys are in her playroom, a sun room next to the lounge room, which is closer to us, and allows us to multi-task on occasion. We play in her room while I fold her washing and put it away, and sometimes she stands up against her cot, or wants to get in it for a laugh, to see mummy through the side, or over the top. 


The cot is not conducive to sleep.


We tried, oh we tried. We wanted a bit of grown-up space, so although planning for an attachment parenting style, we listened to the warnings about SIDS and co-sleeping, used sleeping bags instead of blankets, trying (in vain) to get Indigo used to being left to fall asleep by herself when she's nodding off, not transporting her to the cot asleep. None of these things worked for us at all.


From day one, Indigo hated her wrappings. She loved having her hands out to touch, to feel. She grew tall so quickly that we had to abandon the snug bassinette, the little grobags. I love holding her little hands while she nurses, and she loves it too, when she's not trying to pinch me. 


She also still nurses to sleep. At almost ten months, she doesn't suck her thumb or use a pacifier, and being a chronic nail biter and anxiety-freak, this is the best outcome I could possibly imagine. I couldn't care less what "conventional wisdom" has to say about this: if I can help Indigo avoid or cope with the anxiety issues that I have, we will have been successful in a huge way in the parenting-stakes.

For my sanity, little by little, she has been sleeping in with us more and more. It makes breastfeeding so much easier, and I'm never so deepy lasleep that I've rolled-on or squashed her, nor has my partner. Not that death from suffocation doesn't happen in some instances, and obviously if under the influence of drugs or alcohol co-sleeping is not an option, but in my experience co-sleeping has changed our lives for the better. 

Dave and Indigo having a snuggle when she was only 2 weeks old <3

I don't talk about it a lot, because the issue attracts such a mixed bag of reactions, but there it is. I think it's important for families to sleep together, at least some of the time, and bathe together too. These are great bonding experiences for dads - we can't forget that dads need special bonding time as much as mums, if not more to make up any shortfall they may feel if they work full time (or if their partner is breastfeeding a clingy baby, like yours truly).


I know there are lots of pros and cons for co-sleeping, both scientific and personal, but this is the choice we have made as a family. We'd love a bigger bed, but otherwise are as happy as can be with our decision to sleep in a family bed.I love special morning snuggles, when a sleepy Indigo wakes up to see me watching her. It's also a lot easier to soothe a crying baby when they are right next to you, and Indigo's favourite natural comforter, the boobie, is right there for her when she needs it (and she quite obviously and vocally needs it, multiple times a night).


I hope you woke up to awesome snuggles in bed this morning, whether you have a baby, lover, child, cat, dog - someone that you love that loves you back!

Xtreme Breastfeeding!

Indigo has been breastfed since birth, and she's approaching the ten month-mark. I never really thought much about feeding with formula, although I have no qualms with its use. I just assumed I'd breastfeed until Indigo weaned, or my milk ran out.


I hadn't factored in Indigo's active feeding style. I like to think of it as Xtreme breastfeeding, to gloss over the frustration and pain it frequently causes me.


She now likes to roll around, pinch my arm/boob/armpit/face/eyeball, attempt to feed standing up, in the bath, upside down, while climbing, jumping...you name it. I figured she'd get more active when she got older, but I never really thought about how this would affect how I feed her.


A few times now, I've been on the verge of starting formula feeding, even though I know how much she loves breastfeeding, because her acrobatics are causing me immense pain. It's almost like those first few weeks of breastfeeding all over again, minus the mastitis. I cringe when I have to feed her, and find myself crying out in pain multiple times per feed, unless she's falling asleep. I hate this, but don't really want to stop breastfeeding now we've come so far.


Also, I'm lazy. Putting her on formula will require bottles, preparation times, waiting. I can't just whip out a bottle in bed in the middle of the night like I can with a boob, and I'm just not interested in making more work for myself. I'm in no way anti-formula, but after nine months of relative ease with breastfeeding, and knowing that no matter how much she has, she's the right weight and getting all the right things even when she doesn't feel like eating solids (like tonight), I just don't think that I could do it.

So, I guess I'll just whip out the Lansinoh, and treat myself nicely, just like I did after Indigo was born.

The Secret Life of Dogs

Today is a home-focused day. I am baking double choc chip cookies, attacking the mountain of washing, and the pile of washing up that appeared mysteriously and won't disappear without my help. 


I am hoping Indigo is happy with this plan - she's asleep, so I haven't had to ask her, so far. 


We've had a fun morning. We found out that Trilby has a secret life - there was a loose paling in our fence, which he could push aside through which a little boy could pat him. He has removed the panel from the fence entirely now, so we can see what he is up to.


Indigo stood up against the fence, and she and the little boy smiled at each other. He gave her a big kiss, and she cried! She's never had another kid kiss her before, just grown-ups, so I think she got a surprise. We had fun though, we hadn't met those neighbours yet, having only just moved here, so it was nice to get to play with kids and the hound dog.


She's a big sook at the moment, and wants to be carried around like a joey. I wish I was a kangaroo, with a big pouch designed to carry her. She's outgrown her awful baby bjorn thing, and we've never had the money to buy an Ergo baby carrier, which is what I wanted, so now we just carry her on our hip, or on our shoulders. It's not so bad, and I have lost a lot of weight without having to do much more than look after Indigo, so I can't complain.


Indigo wakes, and all plans are thrown out the window!