Attachment Parents Get Frustrated Too

I've been wondering recently if a lot of people aren't turned-off attachment parenting due to the image of the "perfect" attachment parents. They never get cranky at something minor, grump around the house, eat all the chocolate and snap at everyone. They never complain noisily in the night about being woken up abruptly multiple times to full-bladder kicks from a climbing baby who wants to be breastfed and comforted back to sleep. 

In short, I do all of these things, on occasion. I'm still an attachment parent!

I know I'm not perfect even though I'd love to be (and try to be, at my own expense on many occasions), all I can do is apologise for my mistakes, move on, and learn something. 

Making mistakes and not "following all the rules" does not disqualify you from attachment parenting. Many attachment parents don't start out that way - it's not a from-the-start-or-not-at-all sort of deal - you can begin at any time, and it doesn't require perfection - just a willingness to admit to mistakes, and learn from them.


A lot of parents, my little parenting unit included, don't like the idea of following any particular parenting doctrine, but call ourselves attachment parents nonetheless, as the ideas fit most closely with our own, without being too specific. There are so many little niche parenting styles, I just like to think that we've all got the same ideas at heart - fostering strong connections between parents and children, to help them grow into strong, emotionally intelligent adults. 


I know we all want the best for our kids, and if you think attachment parenting might be what's best for your family, go for it! We all make "mistakes" when we parent, but it's only truly a mistake if you didn't learn something from it. 

I left Indigo to "cry it out" once, because I was so stressed and tired that I couldn't physically lift her or emotionally handle her constant crying. Putting her in her cot made it worse, but I NEEDED five minutes to calm down. After I calmed down, I went back to her, picked her up, and was capable of looking after her again. It took forever to help her settle down, but I'll bet a million bucks that she hasn't been scarred by the experience, even if I have chosen to parent her in an entirely different way! 


I think a lot of people also feel angry about attachment parenting, because we might seem like a smug lot. Yeah, our kids are parented differently to yours, but that doesn't mean I'm judging you as a parent and finding you lacking. It's just like religious and non-religious families: parenting differently with similar goals in mind. Neither is more legitimate. Some attachment parents want ALL parents to follow attachment parenting principles, but I think that's pretty narrow-minded - almost everyone thinks that they are parenting in a way which will benefit their children, one way or the other. 

Most parents adopt some attachment parenting practices into their parenting style, using a sling or baby carrier as opposed to a pram, for instance. Hell, Beyonce even breastfed and carries little Blue Ivy around all over the place - no pram in sight!


So I guess my point is something about not judging people, because we all make some similar parenting decisions, and most of us do some form of attachment parenting. We all just need to be a bit kinder to each other, and a little less judgemental - the parent you're judging is just doing what works for them, just like you!


I love all these old photos of Indigo, so thought I'd include some to lighten up a heavy post!!

Nice Things to Start the Month With

I've had a rough week. Indigo has been teething, and keeping Dave and I up all night. She's been doing lots of parent-climbing in the middle of the night, even asleep! It's made the week full of stress feel even more stressful, but we're coming out the other side, I hope. 

Image via Etsy - weepereas

I'm feeling determined to take things as they come now, and not resort to frustration or depression (my sure-fire sign that I'm stretching myself too thin, and expecting too much of myself). It's back to basics: good food; clean home; lots of exercise; make things; read books; write; talk to people. I know this combination is pretty much designed to make me feel like a human being again, so it's worth giving it my all.

Image via Etsy - ButterflyLove1

It's May, and just over a month until Indigo's first birthday, and my twenty fifth, five days later. I'm hoping to have an amazing combined birthday shindig, so I hope I can plan it all without costing the earth, and pull it off without too much drama! I'm thinking planning and preparing for this party will help pull me out of my slump! I love decorating, designing menus, making invitations...in fact, pretty much everything that comes along with parties. I can't wait to get started! Follow my party board on Pinterest to see my inspiration. In fact, take a look at all my boards! Go on!

One wonderful thing happened this week: we got our rabbit back!

Pepper has been our rabbit for almost three years, and has lived with Dave's mum and sister for almost 11 months. We missed him so much, but couldn't have him at our last rental property. Here however, we have a huge yard which won't be ruined by the addition of a rabbit hutch, so here he is!

Pepper and I, back when I was fighting a losing battle against white-blonde hair

Indigo loves him, but needs to learn a thing or two about soft patting! It's so nice to watch how excited she gets with a new animal to watch and play with. Next stop, convince landlord for those chickens I want...

"Expert" Advice Debunked Again!

I came across some parenting articles via my Facebook feed after my third or fourth night-wakening, and decided to try to read something educational and interesting and give up on sleep. So here I am, blogging about it, because I think that it was interesting and educational enough to write about! Thanks to Evolutionary Parenting for sharing!


The article Educating the Experts - Lesson One: Crying by Tracy G. Cassels is written with the "Experts" as its reader's voice - written in second person, it accuses "you" of all the crimes of the "Experts", which can be a little confronting, but the information is great, so I kind of just get a shock whenever it refers to "All of you, whether you claim to be against crying-it-out or not, promote forms of leaving an infant to cry.  And all of you promote ways of “training” your baby not to cry."  But I digress...

I found it interesting to note that the more responsive a parent is when responding to the cries of their child, regardless how competent they were at reducing the crying at that point in time, the less their child will cry later on. I rejoice at this news! Most parents will rush to help their child, but then feel a little (or a LOT) incompetent, because they can't "fix" what's wrong with their child then and there. I think the news that just being there is helping might be pleasant news to parents who have had to comfort a lot of crying, but with little reward! After needs have been met, cuddling is the most effective way to reduce the severity and length of a crying episode - think of it as meeting the Cuddle need!


The article also makes a very important, scary point: a lot of these "expert" baby-guide books write with the not-so-subtle messages that your baby is a screaming, poo covered creature out to manipulate you. Ok - so they aren't that forward with this message, but the idea of hardening your heart against your child's cries for its own benefit is just plain wrong. Babies do not cry to manipulate us, just to let us know that everything is not ok. If we change our perspective on why the baby is crying (to get our attention to make things ok again, not to thwart our desires for time out, or keep us from getting any sleep) we can change the ways we respond, leading to happier babies, happier parents, and less guilt all around.

Sometimes you need five minutes to compose yourself before responding to your child's cries - that's ok, we're all human. Sometimes you might even tell yourself "that's it! I'm not going to go to her again!" (I know I'm guilty of saying this under stress, but I'm always there for her when I regain my composure, or my partner is). This is ok. We're fragile, imperfect beings, and that is ok too. Being a Superparent (in my view) means knowing how much you can take on, knowing when to back out, and knowing when you need to relax - not assuming that we can all carry on indefinitely with unrelenting stress levels, which is unhealthy and certainly unsuper.

I loved reading this article, and I hope you did too. Here are the links to the other "Educating the Experts" lessons, because I think the points made are valid, and will help you connect better with your kids, and stay away from the guilt-mongers and schedule-followers who will make your life miserable.

Bea xox


Educating the Experts - Lesson One: Crying by Tracy G. Cassels  

Lesson Two: Needs

Lesson Three: Touch

Lesson Four: Self-Soothing

Lesson Five: Schedules

I Love To Watch Her Grow

Often when I talk to people about Indigo, they ask about the milestones she's up to. They asked if she was crawling at four months old. They asked if she was saying any words at six months. They asked if she was walking at eight months. They also seemed to be slightly disappointed when the answer to all of these questions was "no". The day-to-day of playing with kids is a gradual process, and you can watch your child grasping new concepts and making discoveries every day. 

I guess a lot of people just don't know when kids start actually "doing things". I also don't understand the need to rush from milestone to milestone, without enjoying all the stuff in between. Milestones are things to worry about if your kid doesn't seem to be progressing normally, not play-by-plays every baby goes through in the same way, at the same time, or even in the same order! For example, Indigo started creeping along using the furniture before she'd gotten the hang of crawling, and is now a pro at both!

We had a visit from Dave's grandma today, who brought Indy a wooden pram and a wooden swan on a string, which she loves. She has spent a large portion of the day pushing around the pram, putting toys in, then dumping them all out. It's pink and natural wood, but I think I want to paint it red and white, to freshen it up.

Indigo is growing up so fast. I guess it's like that with babies - one minute they have floppy necks, the next you're running around trying to keep up with them. Indigo has started playing out of my sight, on occasion. This thrills me - after doubting my choices in regards to attachment parenting due to other people's opinions on Indy's joey-like clinging, it's so nice to watch her being so bold and adventurous. It reaffirms my choices, and proves to me that giving your child as much attention as they want does not raise a child incapable of independence.

I love to watch her grow. That just about says it all.

Babies Are Needy, But YOU Are The One Who Bugs Me

I just read this article, and even though in principle I agree with their argument, I definitely do not agree with making parents feel terrible for not being able to relax during pregnancy, breastfeed or have a natural birth if they wanted to do these things, or assume a child is neglected if it's not being constantly held by a family member. The author then proceeds to condescendingly suggest a dog, or even more patronising - a fish - instead of having a child if they cannot reach the impossibly high standards this author has set new parents.


I assume the author is a parent. I think that a lot of the things they try to ram down your throat as necessities are lovely - I love co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing and hanging out with my little girl. I would also love her to have more family members involved in her care, but we live in a different city to our extended family network, so our daughter is a poor deprived thing, having to make do with two loving parents, and a whole host of our friends who she loves. I am a terrible parent, apparently. I should get a fish and take the baby back, I suppose.


It's hard enough being a new parent without someone making the nice, feel-good decisions look like a totalitarian regime. No one should be forced to parent in any particular way - we all turned out ok, and I doubt all of our parents were attachment parents. Sure we've all got our own issues, but even well-adjusted people have their own idiosyncracies.


Does this woman think that if we work even harder as over-worked parents that we'll somehow overcome our children's weaknesses? We've all got them, and no amount of parenting is going to raise a perfect child.

Although Darcia Narvaez is a psychologist, she doesn't seem particularly adept at being polite to her readership, as she berates us for being human, fragile, and imperfect. Seems a pretty cruel thing for a psychologist to do, but I guess she gets paid to help people with low self-esteem brought on by perfectionist standards of parenting too.

I don't know why this particular article has gotten my hackles up, because I agree with a lot of the points she makes. I do think that babies should be breastfed and carried around like little joeys for as long as possible, and all the rest. 


However, I agree with this stuff for my kids. Not all kids. Or all parents. All people have different opinions, and I would have thought a psychologist would be more tolerant, and more understanding of different beliefs and practices. I guess the stress Narvaez says we should avoid in pregnancy is in no way related to the unrealistic and unrelenting pressures placed on parents-to-be who already have enough on their plates?

Keep up the good work, Narvaez. Maybe soon there will actually be even less attachment parents, because you've made it seem like an impossible thing to achieve.

Parenting Pride and Feminist Philosophising

I'm a proud parent. I am also proud of being a parent. It seems that a vast section of society would prefer to think that children happen to other people, and don't want to be bothered in their adult world by little people. Fair enough, I guess. Although I have to question the values held by a society that doesn't place any distinction upon children, or the people who choose to have them. 


A lot of people seem to forget that children and parents shape the future of our society. Without people willing to sacrifice their earning potential or do without luxuries, there wouldn't be a new generation. Maybe childless people need to give people who have kids a bit of a break. Kids throw tantrums in inconvenient places, ask embarrassing questions, and talk too loudly. They also learn by doing things, so they need to go to places like shopping centres and learn what goes on and how to behave, just like anyone else. 


I get sick of hearing that "parenting is a choice". Of course it is, most things in life are. That doesn't stop parenting from being one of the most difficult and rewarding things most people do with their lives. I am often asked if Indigo was an "accident" when people find out I'm 24, because fewer people in their twenties are having kids. Being a parent at an age when most of your friends are partying and getting into the swing of their careers can be tough - people can be very critical of the choice to be a parent, without having ever considering that it was a choice I wanted to make, and so do many others. Fewer of these same friends can understand why, after a child which must surely have been an accident, Dave and I want another child. 


I think the use of the word "accident" leads people to dismiss someone's choice to have a child - as if somehow unexpected parents are less worthy, because they had parenthood thrust on them and chose to embrace it. I don't know if you can call it an accident to knowingly keep your child, and love and care for them from the time you know they exist. I don't know if you can call a child an accident when a couple has been dreaming about and planning for children, at sometime in the near future. It's just a matter of perspective. I never tell nosy people a clear-cut answer when they ask if Indigo was an accident. I feel to do so would betray her and all other babies - like somehow, planned babies are "better" than unplanned, and to say either way is meaningless for her and all children.


On another note, since when has 24 been young to have a baby? 24 is pretty much the ideal time to fall pregnant, according to this study, and it was definitely perfect for me. I don't like being judged by a society that forces women to work before having children, supposedly to liberate them, only to find in their thirties that they have trouble conceiving when they want to because they were waiting for things to be perfect, or want to own a house first, have such a busy schedule they don't even have time for a partner, or a myriad of other reasons. 


Who said that we have to work before having children? We humans live an awfully long time now, so we have the luxury to think about whether we want to have a career or study, and think about children when we're ready, but also to have children at a younger age, and think about a career when we're ready. Society understands and accepts the former, but often views the latter with contempt. I don't understand why people can understand the personal goals of wanting a rewarding and interesting career, disposable income, the possibilities of travel, but cannot understand the goals of wanting to be the best person you can be to grow a family. They are both valid life goals, and are not mutually exclusive!


This all revolves around the feminist issue of choice. Apparently women are identifying less with being feminists - we're seen as hairy-legged, angry manhaters - and although women give lip service to equality on occasion, we are constantly expected to somehow be better than equal. If we choose to have children, to choose to stay home with them is oppressing us, even though some of us would far prefer the single full-time job of parent than to play the juggling game with paid employment and kid-wrangling, and working is supposedly oppressing the women who choose to work by denying them the choice to stay home. Again - valid choices, but society far prefers the idea of employed parents, so to be a stay-at-home parent is somehow slothful or unproductive to society, regardless of the woman's choice, or the child's happiness.


It seems we're all being groomed to be perfect little worker bees, consuming and working to pay off debt and being constantly stressed. People see this as normal. As someone who all but dropped out of society for almost two years a few years ago due to chronic anxiety and extremely high levels of stress,  I can tell you that for me and a very large majority of people, this is not healthy, and we can choose not to live this way. The issue of choice is seriously important, but we treat it very lightly, and most of us "ladies" don't like getting into feminist or political discussions in case we upset or offend someone, or worse - bore them.


So,  I just try to remind people that we have choices in life, and we are free to enjoy our long lives in any way that does no harm. In the end, it's all a matter of perspective.


What works for you?

Covert Co-sleeping

Indigo has a cot. It sits in her bedroom with her wardrobe full of clothes, and some toys she doesn't play with much. Truth be told, as lovely as Indigo's room is, with it's psychedelic carpet in varying shades of purple and magenta, she doesn't spend much time in there at all. Most of her toys are in her playroom, a sun room next to the lounge room, which is closer to us, and allows us to multi-task on occasion. We play in her room while I fold her washing and put it away, and sometimes she stands up against her cot, or wants to get in it for a laugh, to see mummy through the side, or over the top. 


The cot is not conducive to sleep.


We tried, oh we tried. We wanted a bit of grown-up space, so although planning for an attachment parenting style, we listened to the warnings about SIDS and co-sleeping, used sleeping bags instead of blankets, trying (in vain) to get Indigo used to being left to fall asleep by herself when she's nodding off, not transporting her to the cot asleep. None of these things worked for us at all.


From day one, Indigo hated her wrappings. She loved having her hands out to touch, to feel. She grew tall so quickly that we had to abandon the snug bassinette, the little grobags. I love holding her little hands while she nurses, and she loves it too, when she's not trying to pinch me. 


She also still nurses to sleep. At almost ten months, she doesn't suck her thumb or use a pacifier, and being a chronic nail biter and anxiety-freak, this is the best outcome I could possibly imagine. I couldn't care less what "conventional wisdom" has to say about this: if I can help Indigo avoid or cope with the anxiety issues that I have, we will have been successful in a huge way in the parenting-stakes.

For my sanity, little by little, she has been sleeping in with us more and more. It makes breastfeeding so much easier, and I'm never so deepy lasleep that I've rolled-on or squashed her, nor has my partner. Not that death from suffocation doesn't happen in some instances, and obviously if under the influence of drugs or alcohol co-sleeping is not an option, but in my experience co-sleeping has changed our lives for the better. 

Dave and Indigo having a snuggle when she was only 2 weeks old <3

I don't talk about it a lot, because the issue attracts such a mixed bag of reactions, but there it is. I think it's important for families to sleep together, at least some of the time, and bathe together too. These are great bonding experiences for dads - we can't forget that dads need special bonding time as much as mums, if not more to make up any shortfall they may feel if they work full time (or if their partner is breastfeeding a clingy baby, like yours truly).


I know there are lots of pros and cons for co-sleeping, both scientific and personal, but this is the choice we have made as a family. We'd love a bigger bed, but otherwise are as happy as can be with our decision to sleep in a family bed.I love special morning snuggles, when a sleepy Indigo wakes up to see me watching her. It's also a lot easier to soothe a crying baby when they are right next to you, and Indigo's favourite natural comforter, the boobie, is right there for her when she needs it (and she quite obviously and vocally needs it, multiple times a night).


I hope you woke up to awesome snuggles in bed this morning, whether you have a baby, lover, child, cat, dog - someone that you love that loves you back!

The Secret Life of Dogs

Today is a home-focused day. I am baking double choc chip cookies, attacking the mountain of washing, and the pile of washing up that appeared mysteriously and won't disappear without my help. 


I am hoping Indigo is happy with this plan - she's asleep, so I haven't had to ask her, so far. 


We've had a fun morning. We found out that Trilby has a secret life - there was a loose paling in our fence, which he could push aside through which a little boy could pat him. He has removed the panel from the fence entirely now, so we can see what he is up to.


Indigo stood up against the fence, and she and the little boy smiled at each other. He gave her a big kiss, and she cried! She's never had another kid kiss her before, just grown-ups, so I think she got a surprise. We had fun though, we hadn't met those neighbours yet, having only just moved here, so it was nice to get to play with kids and the hound dog.


She's a big sook at the moment, and wants to be carried around like a joey. I wish I was a kangaroo, with a big pouch designed to carry her. She's outgrown her awful baby bjorn thing, and we've never had the money to buy an Ergo baby carrier, which is what I wanted, so now we just carry her on our hip, or on our shoulders. It's not so bad, and I have lost a lot of weight without having to do much more than look after Indigo, so I can't complain.


Indigo wakes, and all plans are thrown out the window!

How Many Kids? The Benefits of Growing a Large Family

How many children "should" each family have? Obviously, each person's answer will be unique, and the reasons that lay behind their answers even more so.


I was an only child until I was fifteen. Then, my dad had my half-brother and half-sister with my step-mum. I didn't see very much of them, and don't feel like much of a big sister, even though they are always happy to see me now I'm 24, and they are 9 and 5. It was lonely and insular, growing up living alone with just my mum, and I often wonder whether all only children are similarly awkward with people as I can be. Now I have a daughter, I try to spend as much time around other kids as possible, to counteract the fact that the majority of her time is spent with her mum and dad. I always wanted to have two kids, but now I have one, I am wondering if two is enough!


Dave, Indy, Trilby and I went to the park recently, and had a great time playing with a whole group of kids. Trilby ran around with them for over an hour, and they completely exhausted him. Indy watched all the kids running around with her dog, and talked to me in her babbling way. I felt so happy and it made me yearn for the large family I never had.

I've read some interesting stuff about how after three kids, they don't cost much per child, or take extra time, in a book called Selfish Reasons to Have More Children. I don't know if that's true, but it seems that the benefits would often outweigh the pitfalls.


Having enough money is one of those constant worries for most families. I guess if you have supportive relatives or keep all the kids' clothes for handing down to siblings, having lots of kids doesn't have to be "too" expensive. Buying in bulk, cooking from scratch, growing your own vegies and many other thrifty practices I highly endorse seem to go hand-in-hand with large families. The values taught by practices borne of necessity are important: don't waste resources; be imaginative; know where your food comes from and what goes into it; make what you can; work as play. (I will go into each of these values in depth at a later date, because they are each a post in their own right!)


We also need to keep in mind that kids increase joy, and these personal, emotional benefits are often more important than having lots of money. Material possessions are less important than most people think, and most people own more stuff than they need or want. Kids don't need toy computers and plastic dolls when you can paint pictures, make rag dolls, make a house out of a cardboard box, play with LEGO, dance, kick a ball, sing or blow bubbles. Pets are excellent for using up kids' seemingly boundless energy, and they don't cost a lot in comparison with video games or shopping trips! A camping holiday is more fun for families than an overseas trip that requires oodles of preparing, packing, immunisations, plane tickets, passports...It's easier to save this money for the things that are really wanted and needed. A garage sale of all the stuff that you realise is cluttering up your home might provide the funds to buy the tent and pay for the trip!


So how many kids do you think is too many? I just want more people to play with! It's fun being a mum, most of the time, and I'd like a few kids to call me their mum in my lifetime!

Being Better Than Yourself, For Your Kids

I'm sure that I'm not the only parent who is trying to fix all their problems at once. It feels natural to want to be the best role model for your children that you can be, but naturally it is also extremely difficult.


I find that it's hard to avoid being frustrated when you're lacking sleep, juggling a crying baby with...anything (they don't exactly understand, or care, that you need to clean, or sleep, or eat). 


We moved from Sydney to Newcastle, about three hours' drive from where we used to live, because we found it difficult to find a rental property in Sydney where we could keep our dog, have a vegetable garden and a backyard for Indigo to play in that was slightly more affordable. At first it was isolating to move so far from friends (but a relief to get away from family - we've had quite a few dramas with our families, and other than a few individuals they have been particularly unhelpful since Indigo was born), but now we've made some new friends, and living in Newcastle is seeming like less of a punishment for not being able to afford to buy a house!


We'd really like to move back to Sydney and find somewhere in Katoomba or something, not too far from our family and friends, where we can grow veggies and keep chickens. It's a bit of a pipe dream, considering that we need to save money and get everything nice and stable so things will be good for Indigo, but it's a nice dream for sometime down the track, when we can afford to own our own mortgage.

I think I need to focus on the good things about here and now, because even though we're a bit isolated from old friends, we're making new friends too.  we have been fortunate enough to get to spend LOTS of family time together, Due to neither Dave or I being able to find work in the area  yet. Make sure when you move that you're not moving to a city with extremely high unemployment rates unless you're relocating for your job. I know I've taken time off to have a kid, which is apparently a big no-no, but I've never had problems finding work before, and it's getting ridiculous. I'm hoping that one day, I can make a living out of my writing, but until then, it'd be nice for us both to find something that gets me out of the house and gives Dave a chance to spend some one-on-one time with Indy.

Indigo at 2 months old in her rabbit hat. I can't believe she's grown so fast!

I'm also looking into going back to uni, and studying early childhood/primary teaching, mainly with the aim of understanding my own kid better. I want to know what makes little minds tick, so hopefully I can squeeze part-time study into my schedule somewhere. I'm sure all the stress and time I spend jamming productivity into small spaces of time now will pay off down the track, when I reap the benefits, but can gloss over how hard it was to get there.

I want to be a supermum, don't be hating!

Hi, I'm Beatrix, nice to meet you . 

Life is pretty awesome, but I want more.

Is there anything wrong with wanting to try to have it all?

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but now my daughter is almost ten months old, I'm looking for work because I want to earn some money to put us into a more secure financial situation. I'm trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy size 8 from a post-pregnancy size 18 (I'm a 10 - 12 now, so I'm getting there!). I'm hoping to resume studying part-time , because I want to be the best role model for her that I can be. I want to have fun with less “stuff” and more meaningful conversations and play. In short, I want it all.

Is it really not realistic to want your life to be the way you want it to be? Sure, no one's life is perfect, but let's be realistic – even if you have your ideal lifestyle, there will still be times when you feel stressed out by work, upset at not spending enough time with your baby/partner/family/friends, too busy, or too tired, but all of this comes with the parenting package. I am fortunate enough to have a supportive partner, who wants to be a stay-at-home dad, at least some of the time, which will allow me to do all the various things that I think are important to my personal health and well-being.

This is my partner, Dave. He makes music, a webcomic [under construction at the moment!], and is one of those amazing men who listens, cooks, and loves looking after our daughter.

Visualisation of what you want is a key tool to achieving the life you want. I know that the life I have planned for myself will leave me with little free time, but all my time will be filled with achieving my goals: Family, Work, Exercise, Mental Stimulation, Food, Creativity. These are my six pillars of happiness! All of these things will constantly be varying in their demands, and the aim is to keep them as balanced as possible. If I can manage this, there will be satisfaction coming from feelings of true self-worth. I like feeling like I am trying my hardest, and this is a quality I definitely want to pass on to Indigo, so I will lead by busy, positive example!


A full schedule stops me from being bored, which causes me to mooch. Mooching is a killer of passion, creativity, inspiration, conversation and energy. The less free time I have, the happier I am. This doesn't mean I don't relax, but I relax best when I plan for it! Dave, Indigo and I walk a few kilometres every day with our Basset Hound, Trilby. We take him to the beach and throw a ball around for him, and most of the time he finds kids and dogs to talk to and play with. We have a great time as a family, and it is incredibly inspiring and relaxing!

I don't think there is anything wrong with all of this. In fact, I'm sick of being told to cut myself slack. I thrive on pushing myself forward, so all these well-meaning articles I see telling people not to want to better themselves upsets me. Maybe the writer is suffering from burn-out, but there is a definite positive to being busy rather than having lots of time to relax, but not necessarily needing or wanting to do so. 


Maybe I'm a bit mad. 


What's wrong with wanting to be the best person you can be?