Sunday 1 April 2012

Being Used or The Human Doormat

I'm not the sort of person who will tell you that you have outstayed your welcome. I will just be polite, let you run out of steam, and sit around until you realise it's probably time to go. I find goodbyes awkward, and as such either cut them almost rudely short or let the opportunities ebb and flow like the tide: winding up the conversation, and then spinning straight back into a new topic. So it's no suprise really that due to my inability to cut through the bullshit of social niceties, I often end up being treated rather poorly by my fellow humans.

Dave, Indy and I have had a Visitor for a few weeks now. Dave has known him for ages, but they haven't been good friends for quite some time. He found himself homeless - not for the first time -  and needed a place to stay. Having been homeless ourselves, we help people whenever we can, but can't really keep it up long-term because we've got a family and our own lives to manage.

The Visitor has worn out his welcome. He ate a large amount of our chocolate for cooking (we don't buy snacks pre-packaged, I prefer to bake cookies or something). The visitor then proceeded to eat everything else edible and sweet, such as the chocolate swirl cheesecake I made. We shared with him, like any guest, until we realised he was taking things from us. Eating all our snacks in the middle of the night, like a rodent! We just started buying less junk food, and hiding it in secret places when we did. 

He is also seeing this Lady, who lives with her ex. This means that the Visitor and his Lady-Friend spend a lot of time just mooching around the house, not doing much of anything except getting in the way, and making it hard for me to relax in my own home.  The Visitor hasn't even shaved in two weeks, let alone looked for a new place to live, or showered regularly, instead relying on his Lady-friend to do all the work, even though she works full-time, and he doesn't work at all.

Dave and I both have pretty serious anxiety issues, so found it extremely difficult to bring any of this up, but something needed to change. This evening after having a frustrating day when I had big plans, I lost it. 

I went into my lounge room, and just like every single time that day, the Visitor and his Lady-Friend were sitting in the middle of the lounge. I'd already hinted earlier that it was a lovely day - maybe they should go for a walk or something because they'd been cooped up inside (our house) all day. They hadn't taken the hint, and I was hyperventilating in our bedroom, trying not to say something I'd regret.

Then I went into the kitchen, and smashed a glass into the sink. I felt stronger, if not better. I can't really explain why. I guess just having some control about where I direct my anger instead of just letting it fester internally, like usual.

So then I went and confronted the Visitor and his Lady-Friend head-on. Told them I didn't want them sitting around in my lounge room, or using my house like a fuck-pad while I spend all my time cleaning. Then they left. The Visitor hasn't returned. I assume he'll be back but I know that after this catalyst, neither Dave or I will put up with being treated like a human doormat any more!