I Love To Watch Her Grow

Often when I talk to people about Indigo, they ask about the milestones she's up to. They asked if she was crawling at four months old. They asked if she was saying any words at six months. They asked if she was walking at eight months. They also seemed to be slightly disappointed when the answer to all of these questions was "no". The day-to-day of playing with kids is a gradual process, and you can watch your child grasping new concepts and making discoveries every day. 

I guess a lot of people just don't know when kids start actually "doing things". I also don't understand the need to rush from milestone to milestone, without enjoying all the stuff in between. Milestones are things to worry about if your kid doesn't seem to be progressing normally, not play-by-plays every baby goes through in the same way, at the same time, or even in the same order! For example, Indigo started creeping along using the furniture before she'd gotten the hang of crawling, and is now a pro at both!

We had a visit from Dave's grandma today, who brought Indy a wooden pram and a wooden swan on a string, which she loves. She has spent a large portion of the day pushing around the pram, putting toys in, then dumping them all out. It's pink and natural wood, but I think I want to paint it red and white, to freshen it up.

Indigo is growing up so fast. I guess it's like that with babies - one minute they have floppy necks, the next you're running around trying to keep up with them. Indigo has started playing out of my sight, on occasion. This thrills me - after doubting my choices in regards to attachment parenting due to other people's opinions on Indy's joey-like clinging, it's so nice to watch her being so bold and adventurous. It reaffirms my choices, and proves to me that giving your child as much attention as they want does not raise a child incapable of independence.

I love to watch her grow. That just about says it all.

Being Used or The Human Doormat

I'm not the sort of person who will tell you that you have outstayed your welcome. I will just be polite, let you run out of steam, and sit around until you realise it's probably time to go. I find goodbyes awkward, and as such either cut them almost rudely short or let the opportunities ebb and flow like the tide: winding up the conversation, and then spinning straight back into a new topic. So it's no suprise really that due to my inability to cut through the bullshit of social niceties, I often end up being treated rather poorly by my fellow humans.

Dave, Indy and I have had a Visitor for a few weeks now. Dave has known him for ages, but they haven't been good friends for quite some time. He found himself homeless - not for the first time -  and needed a place to stay. Having been homeless ourselves, we help people whenever we can, but can't really keep it up long-term because we've got a family and our own lives to manage.


The Visitor has worn out his welcome. He ate a large amount of our chocolate for cooking (we don't buy snacks pre-packaged, I prefer to bake cookies or something). The visitor then proceeded to eat everything else edible and sweet, such as the chocolate swirl cheesecake I made. We shared with him, like any guest, until we realised he was taking things from us. Eating all our snacks in the middle of the night, like a rodent! We just started buying less junk food, and hiding it in secret places when we did. 


He is also seeing this Lady, who lives with her ex. This means that the Visitor and his Lady-Friend spend a lot of time just mooching around the house, not doing much of anything except getting in the way, and making it hard for me to relax in my own home.  The Visitor hasn't even shaved in two weeks, let alone looked for a new place to live, or showered regularly, instead relying on his Lady-friend to do all the work, even though she works full-time, and he doesn't work at all.


Dave and I both have pretty serious anxiety issues, so found it extremely difficult to bring any of this up, but something needed to change. This evening after having a frustrating day when I had big plans, I lost it. 


I went into my lounge room, and just like every single time that day, the Visitor and his Lady-Friend were sitting in the middle of the lounge. I'd already hinted earlier that it was a lovely day - maybe they should go for a walk or something -  because they'd been cooped up inside (our house) all day. They hadn't taken the hint, and I was hyperventilating in our bedroom, trying not to say something I'd regret.


Then I went into the kitchen, and smashed a glass into the sink. I felt stronger, if not better. I can't really explain why. I guess just having some control about where I direct my anger instead of just letting it fester internally, like usual.


So then I went and confronted the Visitor and his Lady-Friend head-on. Told them I didn't want them sitting around in my lounge room, or using my house like a fuck-pad while I spend all my time cleaning. Then they left. The Visitor hasn't returned. I assume he'll be back but I know that after this catalyst, neither Dave or I will put up with being treated like a human doormat any more!

How to look beautiful no matter what your age, size or shape.

Sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see. Women are constantly bombarded with conflicting messages about their appearance, and the prevalence of plastic surgery and fad diets attest to our unhealthy fixation with achieving a physique that is not average.

We need to show everyone that beauty does not equal pain, or falsehoods. It is a real thing that real people possess. Real people with stretch marks and imperfect hair and wobbly bits.

Here are a few tips to help you look your best without having to spend lots of money, lose weight, or spend hours in front of a mirror!


+ Smile. A smile lights up your face and makes you look your best. Besides, if you look like you're having fun, you are automatically more attractive than someone who looks miserable. Smile at the world, you never know who's looking, and the smiles you attract in return will make you feel even better!


+ Put on a dress. There's a style for every size and shape, and it will make you feel girly, flirty and happy. Knee-length, mini or maxi, dressed up or down, dresses make everyone look great.


+ Wear bright colours. Whether that's your clothes, accessories or makeup, bright colours will put you in a great mood and make you look fabulous. Wearing bright red lipstick will take your basic black outfit and turn it into something amazing, or slip on some yellow shoes to give yourself happy feet! Choose colours that suit you, not the "fashionable" colours of the moment - this way you will look your best and stand out from the crowd. Nothing says beautiful like originality!


+ Good posture. This is something absolutely everyone can work on, and it's good for you and makes you look slimmer and more elegant. Good posture will help you feel physically better, and radiate confidence to those around you. Stand with your shoulders held back and be proud to be yourself inside your skin.


+ Look after that skin! Exfoliate with a sugar scrub every week to buff your skin to perfection. Use a skincare range that suits your needs - I use Herbalism cleanser, Eau du  Roma toner, and Celestial moisturiser, all from Lush...I love all their products, and they've got something for everyone!


+ Get enough sleep. It's more important than updating your Facebook or watching tv, it's called beauty sleep for a reason! It will help with your mental wellbeing too, being frazzled and grumpy definitely doesn't help you feel pretty. Get seven to eight hours to feel your best.


+ Accept yourself. Even if you don't like the way this bit wobbles, or your scars, or your funny knees, if you can learn to live with them instead of worrying about them, you will be that much more beautiful. There's no need to cover up or apologise, or resort to surgery. Beauty, confidence and acceptance go hand in hand, so enjoy being yourself. There are people out there who find you interesting and sexy, so believe them and act like you're sex on legs! I have a stomach full of stretchmarks, but my awesomeness isn't bogged down by something so trivial! (sometimes acting more confident than you are leads to real confidence!)

Learning to say no!

My partner is always telling me I'm too nice to people. I mostly only realise someone has been using me after they have already done it, and kind of passive-aggressively watch it happen to myself, debating internally.


The other day I was accosted with my baby by someone trying to sell me something in a shopping centre. I was having a long, hard day, and was wearing Indy on my front. I was enjoying getting out of the house with her, and we were in our own little world, talking to each other as we walked around. I heard some guy call out to me, so I turned around. He then asked me to buy something. I just said no, and kept walking. It felt liberating to refuse to do something, even something as trivial as saying no to a kid trying to do his job.